again.
I just seem to be in that place where it is too easy to just go back out. to spend a day bathing in the alcohol and slipping into painlessness. but then I awaken, and the pain is still here. I have all this fear. of what, I am unsure. I don't want to depend on anyone else. I don't want to reach out. I don't want to show my vulnerability. no weakness. just like at work. i'd rather die than ask him (M) for help. I must reach out or I will die. plain and simple.
